Family at 45

     I was 45 years old when I finally found and met people who felt like they had been my “real” family all of my life.  I was a part of a rather large family that I felt I never truly belonged to.  I looked like them, talked like them, acted like them but never felt like them.  I always had a yearning, a desire for more.  To test my limits, my boundaries, to learn all I could.  To get an education and boy did I ever (not all in a traditional sense).  I was different than everyone in my family including my look-a-like Irish twin younger brother who I longed to be.  As a girl I had the limits and boundaries of a patriarchial society placed on me yet I continually tested the believing that gender was a confine being placed on people to control their true abilities. 

Because of injustices done to my personhood and blame of governmental systems and society in general, I placed myself into a self-imposed exile and prison of the mind created by vicious cycles perpetuated by low self-esteem and a lack or self-respect and self-worth.  It was when I truly stood up for myself and realized my worth that I started to attract my real family.  The ones that I was meant to meet to help me break free from the solitary confinement of my own mind and truly let society see the beautiful butterfly this caterpillar has turned into.  When I met people that did not confine me to one certain role, one stereotype, I started to grow.  All of the seeds that other people planted in my mind while I imprisoned myself were lying in wait for the perfect conditions and are becoming the tools I use to create positive change and help others see their truths.