I am not a Victim
because I have been
blamed, objectified, dominated, supressed,
seen as a possession or trophy,
had aggression taken out on,
been used as a toy,
and disposed of like a paper plate
when no longer useful.
I am not a Survivour
because I have endured
childhood abuse, sexual abuse,
physical and psychological abuse,
domestic violence, systemic discrimination,
spiritual manipulation, sexual abuse in the military,
assault by police officers, conditioning of fault,
or uncalled for judgements and public shaming.
I am not a Hero
for sharing my story
so others do not feel so alone.
I recognize I am not the only one and
want to use my pain for purpose
so that something good can come
from the trauma that was imposed upon me.
I only want to turn my darkness to light.
Not outshine anyone.
I have made some bad decisions and choices,
and I have had some imposed upon me.
My choice and my power taken
so that someone else
could feel better about themselves.
These experiences happened.
Good and bad.
It is my responsibility to learn from the pain,
to set boundaries
and to know
what I will and will not accept.
Those that harmed me
have their own journey,
and I have mine.
I will take the knowledge I have gained
from the lessons of hurt and sorrow,
and turn it into wisdom,
So that I can learn
to empower myself to
love, accept and finally believe in